shattered dreams....

Thursday evening I got the most wonderful news ever! I was about 3weeks pregnant. I was over the moon yet scared as well. And confused. I was happy for a few hours. Friday morning I started bleeding. I was in total shock. I was trembling and I phoned Dh to take me to the gynea. The gynea gave me very little hope. He said that I must come back today for another bloodtest. just t o see if my hcG count has increased. He could'nt see anything on the scan. I felt there and then that it was a lost case.

Today I feel stronger and stronger in my heart that I had a mc. I am so scared and just want to bawl my eyes out. My dream is close to being shattered everytime I go to the loo. There it is, normal AF. I feel like such a failure and I feel like a part of me is gone. I feel a bit empty but I have my husband. he's been good to me. He went t o work this morning and on his way he turned around to stay with me. I am so thankful for him. And very thankful for the girls on OPM.

I really don't feel like doing much or being around people. Just too many question that I can't answer. But I keep praying that somehow I might be wrong.

MY DREAMS ARE GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO BEING SHATTERED AND I DON'T THINK MY HEART CAN TAKE IT!!!!